Helping the Insecure Child Feel Safe in the Water

If your child’s fear of the water is becoming a barrier to family enjoyment of time at the beach or the pool, you may be wondering if there’s any way to correct the problem. Take heart, with a little patience, you can help children of virtually any age become more comfortable being in or near the water.

Think About the Context

Has the fear appeared seemingly out of nowhere, or did it come about in response to a negative experience? If you can’t identify a cause, then simply conducting activities near the water without being judgmental may ease the situation over time. Most children eventually develop a fascination with water, and it’s very possible that the child’s anxiety will dissipate.

If the fear is in response to something specific, it might take a little longer. For instance, if the child was pushed into the water before he or she was ready, the sense of comfort can take a while to return. It’s worth noting, too, that other situations can complicate or create a fear of the water. For instance, if a child has been ill, or has experienced the death of a loved one, they may be generally fearful of any situation where they feel that they don’t have control. Don’t rush things – again, it’s likely that the child will get over the fear in his or her own time. Make sure that the child has plenty of opportunities to be near the water, but let them control the pace.

Consider the Age of the Child

Often, fear of the water can be prevented before it develops. When you think about it, just being bathed is an early introduction to water, so during the bathing process, make sure that you use shallow water and slow, gentle movements. Consider bathing a trust-building exercise, and don’t ever dunk the baby, run water in his or her eyes, or do anything else to betray that trust. You might also want to investigate a “parent and baby” swim program that introduces your child to playing in the water at a very early age.

Fearful toddlers might also respond to having you in the water with them. You could sit with them in a wading pool, or on the steps of an adult pool, and play with water toys, or sing and splash. Point out to them that this isn’t really much different from being in the bathtub. As they become comfortable with very shallow water, they may decide on their own that they’d like to venture a little deeper.

Preschoolers often want to explore their independence, and at this stage of their lives they’re already experiencing the desire to impress and emulate their friends. If your preschooler is afraid of the water, many of the same techniques that work with toddlers may also be appropriate, and you can add to the plan having him or her spend time with their less fearful peers.

When a child reaches school age, their motor skills are such that they should be able to take simple steps toward swimming. Simply putting their face in the water is a start, and they’ll probably feel very safe floating if you’re there to provide support. As they progress, peer pressure can once again be a powerful motivator.

Summary

The most important thing to remember is that your child’s fear is real, and although you shouldn’t cater to it, you must respect it. Don’t minimize the fear, don’t force the issue, and remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Getting over fear takes time – you can try again another day. Also, don’t be afraid to seek the services of a professional instructor if you don’t feel you can handle it on your own.